Everyone’s waiting for you to continue. The thing is, you didn’t have anything to follow up after that. But you don’t want to disappoint, so you say the first thing that comes to your head.

“And then we can beat him up,” you conclude, earning the respect of battle-happy shrine maidens across the world. You’re sure Reimu’s clapping in her head with the approving nod that she’s giving you.

“...Him?” The badger sputters. “As in, the other guy… and not me, y-yes?”

“Do you want to be beaten up too?” asks Reimu.

With a somber expression, he shakes his head slowly and silently.

“Good.” The shrine maiden jerks a finger to the mountainside. “Now take us to your boss, leader, or whatever you call him.”

Despite how talkative the badger initially was, he does not say a word through the forest’s passage and the climb up the steady hillside. With Reimu following right behind the badger, it looks like he’s being walked to his execution—and the shrine maiden, his executioner. He stops at a patch of open area. Around is conspicuously clear of brush, as if all the foliage was trimmed away. All that’s missing is quiet in the forest, a dark mist that permeates through the woods, and you’d be wondering if you’re experiencing a serious case of deja vu.

A horned figure steps out from the cover of the trees. Just like the badger described, the youkai has a ruddy, taurus-like face. Dark splotches color the sides of the man’s face like oil, finished with a black muzzle that juts out. Mino, you think for a second before discarding it.

His eyes narrow at the sight of the shrine maiden and protracts his gaze, meticulously scanning each person before curtly saying, “...Guests.”

“Y-yes,” the badger says, lowering his head.

“You invited many.”

“I—I wouldn’t say that I, um, invited them, but...” The badger trails off as the bovine-headed youkai stares straight at him with his beady eyes.

After he silen

>>200245
Reposting due to bump limit.

---

[ ] Stay behind to buy time
[ ] Make a straight run for the Youkai Mountain border
[ ] Run for Eirin’s field (Clamshell)
[ ] Run for the Yamanba zone (Clamshell)
[ ] Aki Farm
[ ] Call Ran
[ ] Other?

---

Image created by Mibiya
If anyone wants to provide feedback or chat with me, I'm on the THP discord.

You can vote on every character's individual "choices", but you may only vote on a single character to "control.”

[[ ]] The youkai

I walk up to a brown dirt clump with a big section for a “body” and a small one for a “head”. “Wake up!”

It gets up and cranes its “head” to look at me. “What?” it says.

“Another incident,” I said.

“Awesome! Time to solve it!” The clump got up and busted its arms and legs out. “Where’s the bad guys?”

“Well, this incident is quite serious, so I—”

“Aw, it’ll be easy!” the clump said. “Remember the winter incident? The red smoke?”

“You died in both of those incidents before you even got to where the incidents were coming from…”

“So?” the clump shrugged. “I always come back after three days, and magic isn’t hard to regain even though I’m an incident resolver.” The brown blob flexes its arms in an exaggerated motion several times, bouncing its forearms around rapidly. “In fact, you should be the one on the bench for this based on your danmaku history, but who cares? The ice fairy doesn’t care.”

“She’s like an ant to a lion compared to you, but I relent. You can come.”

The dirt clod jumps up, and before you can tell it to wait for you, it rockets toward the human village like a beetle scuttling away from a prying finger. “We need to get to the village to locate the incident!” The voice trails off as the clump-turned-meteor gets farther away.

“…darn.”

{...}

“HEY!!! Zappers! Dirt clod! Brown boulder! Wait for me!”

No use. The little fairy was out traveling to “resolve” the incident. I’ll be surprised if he gets past the first peon of the incident “organization” that these events always seem to have. It would be much easier if he would actually focus on winning spell card duels, but showing off with flashy projectiles and recklessly getting hit is what his usual attempts at resolving an incident turn out to be. That, and not actually managing to find out who the mastermind of the incident even is.

I suppose it’s an extreme v

{-} Embrace the dark side... wait, no, do the exact opposite of that.

Thankfully, I do have a certain amount of practice at controlling at my emotions. Unstable emotions make for unstable magic, and safety aside, the secret sealing club's budget puts a hard limit on explosive misfires per month. Look, the point is, I was able to wrestle my irritation under my control.

I still did need a focus for unleashing the magic, and the first thing that occurred to my mind was programming class, of all things. Just like testing a program, things would fail for the most idiotic reasons, and things had to be hooked up just right to-

[Placeholder Sign - Hello World]
Huh. That, just... huh. It really was that simple. Plain blue bullets literally spelled out "Hello, world!". Punctuation included, even. Considering the bullets did absolutely nothing else, I don't think it even qualified as an attack.

Hina looked at the pattern in some confusion. "Um. Well, it worked, but is that what you were aiming for?"

My bemusement turned to embarrassment, and I dismissed the spellcard with a wave of a hand. Excellent. If I ever wanted to make myself look like a complete joke, I now had exactly the spellcard to do it with. "That was just a test to get the system working. Also, um, you were right. Thanks, I guess."

"It's no trouble. Really."

That resulted in one of those silences that was destined to turn awkward, but the Koishi doll - no wait, it was Mary now - came flying out of the house, hovering next to Hina. She offered it a headpat. "So there you are. Just where did you go, anyway?"

The doll ignored the question, opting to lean into the headpat. That was adorable enough to make a dent in my irritation. I found myself smiling as I called out, "Aren't you a little old to be playing with dolls?"

Hina paused with a small blush, but Mary flew in for the hug, and after a moment of hesitation the goddess wrapped an arm around the doll. "Aren't you the one giving her directions?"

That actually

It’s hard to pinpoint the precise moment you went from “nothing” to “something”. All you can really say for sure is that once you weren’t, but now you are.

Or… something along those lines. These are pretty complicated thoughts for what’s essentially a newborn.

But are you really? A newborn, that is. Before the nothing that was before the something, you could sometimes grasp the frayed threads of another life. That life was so vastly different from what you are now that you have trouble thinking of it as “your” life, but the sense of familiarity (and sometimes yearning) the memories give you are harder to deny. You were once human, then you were nothing, and now you’re something.

But enough of that for now. Your thoughts tend to ramble when you let them, so it’s best to cut them off her or nothing will ever get done.

Compared to your previous life, your senses are now completely different. Sight, smell, taste, and hearing are all gone entirely, actually. You felt like you should maybe be horrified by that fact, but the memories of your previous life had come in some time after you came into existence, so you had already adjusted to the state of things before realizing you had lost anything at all.

Your world begins and ends with your sense of touch. Perhaps some of the things you lump together with “touch” in your mind are something else entirely, but it just makes sense to do so. The most prominent thing you feel is the soothing coolness that encases you completely from all sides. If you were still capable of doing so, you would regularly be giving contented sighs. Even if you do nothing, the coolness leaves you feeling nourished and healthy at all times. If this was all there was to your life, well… you wouldn’t complain.

Alas, hypotheticals are hypotheticals, and this is reality. There exists something beyond your present state of stockpiling energy, and you intend to explore it with the little control you have. Several options are open to you, but your limited understanding prevents you from the risks and benefits of each choice.

Ah well, suppose you’ll just have to follow your gut on this one. You decide to:

The intense chirping of cicadas was what brought you back to the land of the living. You came into consciousness, but your eyes remained close, and a pounding in your head begged you to return to slumber. Try as you might though, the insistence of the cicadas urged you to stay with them. Deeming a return to dreamland hopeless, you lifted your upper body off the ground and opened your eyes.

You were sitting on a hill, covered with lush grass. You could see a lake about ten minutes ahead from you, though mist seemed to shimmer above the lake, obscuring your view of what lay across it. Mountains off in the distance surrounded you as if cradling you tightly in their embrace. This area seemed lush, peaceful, and completely foreign to you. Nothing was ringing a bell, even the grass felt different. How did you even get here? You... Actually, just remembering felt difficult right now, with so many details in your head fuzzy. You could deal with that later.

You stood up, brushing some of the grass and debris off of your pants, when you noticed a flyer about eight feet from you, caught between two rocks, the wind trying to tug it away but the rock refusing to let go. You picked up the purple paper and examined it.

>"WELCOME! ;P

>"By popular demand, here is your introduction and primer to your current tubular predicament! Where are you? You're in Gensokyo now! What is Gensokyo? A radical land of magic! Monsters are real! Youkai are real! Have gnarly fun, but be careful! If you really want to return home, seek out Hakurei! Otherwise, enjoy your mondo new future!

>"P.S. Watch out for Rumia! She's waaaay uncool for newbies! x~x"

You stared at the flyer for a few moments. You weren't sure which to find more incredulous - the outrageous claims it had made casually, or how it seemed written by someone madly out of touch with society. Like an old person, desperate to appear cool with the youth, but with no idea what the youth truly are or what they do.

As you folded up the paper to put in your pocket, a loud sound interrupted the cicadas.

(Background music, if you'd like:https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=f7arsbCRNP8)

Image source: (https://www.deviantart.com/kane-neko/art/Touhou-Loved-Gensokyo-307902587)

---

Early morning rays accompanied cheerful birdsong gliding over grass covered hills and embracing soft meadowlands. In the East, the sun sluggishly began its long trek towards its apex, the plants of the meadows basked contentedly in its bright golden hue. Distantly, cattle could be spotted grazing absentmindedly in their pastures, from elsewhere a cicada was heard testing its voice. The fields and hills of Gensokyo were entranced in a harmonious serenity.

“This would make for a very good painting,” Keiko remarked to himself, though the name of the land was unknown to him.

What must’ve been a few minutes ago, on his early morning travels, he had noticed a worn dirt path out of the corner of his eye. The path branched off from the one he normally traversed, concealed snugly among the surrounding forest. He hadn’t recalled seeing the path during his previous trips, and feeling uncharacteristically adventurous, he had decided to see where this new path would take him.

He hadn’t travelled for long before all around the crowded woodland unveiled into the sprawling fields that now lay before him. It was strange, he pondered, for an entire countryside to be tucked away here without him ever noticing, after having lived near the woods for most of his adult life. Though whatever questions he had on mind were quickly dismissed, deciding that none of them were all that important.

Keiko let the strap of his duffel fall to the ground as he seated himself on the top of a particularly high hill. From here he held a lookout over a large part of the grasslands. The sight was so picturesque to him, that he half-heartedly wondered if he had stumbled into someone’s painting. He could almost see it: his back to the viewer, bag by his side, perched upon a pastel hill, the land stretching down and

Notice: There will be open spoilers for both Resident Evil 7 and Resident Evil 8: Village going forward. This will be the only warning you'll get.
=====================================================
Everything is dark, and everything is numb.

You can tell your eyes are open, at least, but there is nothing else observable to you. Your mind is as blank as your senses, your only emotion being a complex mixture of lingering sadness and relief... and a hint of anger?

Slowly, feeling begins to return, and your entire body feels sore.

That soreness quickly evolves into pain, and you close your eyes. Not that it matters. Everything is pitch black, wherever you are.

After a moment, the deafening silence of the void is broken by a woman's voice.

"My, my, still holding on, after all that? You certainly never disappoint."

You open your eyes again, but the source of the voice is too far away to make out clearly. You recognize the color purple, but little else. Which is strange, since it sounded like she was right next to you.

Enough feeling returns for you to realize you haven't been breathing, and you cough violently. You feel flecks of... something come up when you do so.

The voice continues, still as if she was only a foot away. "You certainly are in bad shape, though. Here, allow me to help."

You feel a tingling sensation across your body, followed by a second of intense pain. You only have enough energy to gasp and close your eyes again in response.

Once the pain subsides, it does so entirely. Even the earlier aches you felt are gone. You open your eyes again, and inspect your body. Despite the black void around you, you can clearly see that your body is unharmed.

You look back at the woman in the distance and finally find your voice. "What... Who are you? Where am I?"

The woman giggles. "I take it you're feeling better, now? Good. And to answer your questions, I am nobody, and you are nowhere."

The cryptic reply annoys you, but you move on to

[-] Meet Sakuya's mistress.

You knew Sakuya would be back with her mistress, she'd promised as much. You also knew someone with the ability to stop time could show up quite literally out of nowhere. It would not be inaccurate to say you were dreading whatever it was she had in store for you, and yet when she showed up with several people in tow, you were focused enough on Satori that it still caught you off guard.

Which is all a longwinded way of saying, curse Sakuya's sudden yet inevitable arrival.

The moment the door cracks open, Satori pushes away from you, making a show of getting up and dusting herself off. For lack of a better idea, you do the same as you survey the people entering. You don't see the guard from earlier, but Sakuya ushers in a purple haired woman wearing what you're pretty sure are pink pajamas, and... a much younger vampire than you were expecting. With wings that could be best described as rainbow crystal windchimes, but that's surprisingly low on the weirdness scale these days.

You can see Satori tense up at the vampire's presence, but she gives the group a flat look and a nod. "Patchouli. I'm glad to see you've fully recovered from last time."

The purpled haired woman stares coldly back, and if her pale face and the bags under her eyes count as recovered, you'd hate to see what sick (injured?) was like. "Satori. I'd say I'm pleased to see you, but you're difficult to lie to."

As your captors take seats around a table in the center of the gazebo, Satori returns fire. "Not as difficult as usual. I take it I have you to thank for that?"

It's then that you place Patchouli's name, and you grimace as you remember the context. "Please tell me this isn't another grudge match with someone who broke into your house."

Sakuya looks amused, the vampire looks impatient, and Patchouli looks downright offended. "I take it she didn't mention her nuclear-powered pet preparing to lay waste to the surface?"

Satori doesn't give her a reaction. "You were amiable enough when I was in

Hello everyone! And welcome to a new episode of 'Chimata Says'!

Today we are in the Human Village. One of the most beautiful places in Gensokyo.

It has very beautiful canals that the fishermen can enjoy, great markets people can enjoy, tourists from many places, but unfortunately also... pickpockets

Pickpockets are a really big problem here in the Domstad. In fact, it is the largest form of theft that occurs here in the Human Village. Rivaled only by the amount of fairy murder but the latter isn’t a crime.

But what exactly is pickpocketing? What are the tricks of the pickpockets?
And most importantly, what can you do about it?

You can see it here today on 'Chimata Says'!

Pickpocketing is the unwanted removal of things from, for example, your jacket pocket or from your bag.
This often concerns your wallet, money, or your very clothes. Annoyingly, the victim often doesn't realize it's gone. So that person can go to the store, look for his wallet in his bag and can't find it. Not only did you not notice that it was taken, but someone else now has your cards and your money.

I myself have already been pocketed twice. I didn't notice anything both times, so they work very smart and fast. How do they do that and what are their tricks?

For starters, pickpocketers often work in groups. So you are not dealing with just one, but with a whole network of handy thieves. They often put on a play together to distract you. A well-known trick is to ask for directions. While you are helpfully explaining the right route, an accomplice just takes your wallet away. Or you are walking down the street and see someone trip and fall. While you come to the rescue, someone else is emptying your pockets.

Furthermore, pickpockets often strike in crowded places. Such as at the center, in a busy shopping street, or here, at the market. They do this for a reason: it's so busy here, it's not weird that someone bumps into you.
Pickpocketers 'accidentally' bump into you and then take things from your cases. This goes so fast,