Hi again. Having written Being Meiling and Pleasant Meadows, I've decided to go back to something fairly light and fluffy. This story is in the same continuity as the previous stories, so you might want to read them to have a clue as to what's going on:

>>/sdm/54956
>>/others/51333

Anyway, updates will NOT be daily. I'm taking some courses, so I might be able to update two or three times per week. Maybe.

With all that aside, let's see how this goes!

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"This is all a total load of bullshit!" I declare, folding my arms. "Always has been, always will be!"

Ichiro just stares at me with a raised eyebrow. Damned unflappable bastard. That always irritated me about him; no matter what you said, the guy was totally immune to it. Anything from insults to come-ons, he just reacted with a raised eyebrow, and not a whole hell of a lot else.

Actually, that's kind of a trait of all tengu males. That damn stiff demeanor. It pissed me off so much, that I finally went off to find greener pastures. I mean, I like a guy who reacts during a frenzied bout of lovemaking, you know what I mean? Or a girl, too, but my people can be so damned uptight about the stupidest things. Kinda why I left the village in the first place.

But yeah, uptight as all hell. Which brings us back to the present.

"Aya," Ichiro sighs, "Do you know why you're here?"

I roll my eyes and lean back, resting my hands on the tatami. "Yes, Itchy," I say in a monotone, "This is my parole meeting. I know it, you know it, Momiji knows it." I jerk my thumb back at the wolf tengu who is watching the proceedings from behind me. The very same wolf who burned down my house with the help of a certain gatekeeper who shall go nameless (MEILING HONG), due to my oh-so-forgiving nature.

Bitch. Both of them.

Ichiro shrugs, ignoring my cute little name for him. Jerk. "Well, I suppose that's as good a name as any for it. Yes, we are here to determine whether or not you pose a continued threat to certain personages within the boundaries of Gensokyo."

I glare at him. "Itchy. I'm not interested in little girls. I've told you this. A lot."

"You also had a lot of pictures of Cirno in your house," Momiji pointlessly notes from behind me, like she has about a gazillion times at this point.

"Oh, come on!" I cry, unable to believe the injustice of it all, "I already told you guys! It was research material!"

"It was a godsdamned shrine, Aya!" the ignorant twit of a wolf shouts back. "I mean, sheesh! Pictures of the poor girl were everywhere! It was like you'd surrounded yourself with your obsession! No, you did surround yourself with your creepy obsession! I mean... don't you understand what we're worried about here?!"

I clear my throat and swivel to face Momiji, preparing a concise but descriptive speech in rebuttal to these totally uncalled for slanders to my honor. "I understand that you suck."

The white wolf groans and lowers her face into her hands in a clear and obvious admission of defeat. "I guess I should have expected that response."

I nod in satisfaction, when Ichiro bursts my moment of glory like the killjoy he is at heart. "Aya, this is exactly what we were worried about. You don't understand that you did something very wrong. How can we release you from custody when there is every chance that you will simply go back to this unwholesome pursuit of an innocent young girl?"

Okay. Enough of this. I'm setting the record straight, and I'm doing it right frickin' now. Swiveling to regard both the tightass and the twit (I'm not sure which is which and it doesn't matter), I clear my throat and regard them both as fiercely as I can.

It kinda hurts my eyes. Ouch.

"...Aya, why are you staring at us like that?" Momiji asks, looking a little weirded out. She must have sensed my pure conviction and is having doubts about her spurious claims already. Good job, me!

"I'm demonstrating my conviction!" I declare, and spring to my feet, pointing a finger of determination at both Ichiro and Momiji. "I, Aya Shameimaru, pure and honest journalist, and utter victim of a miscarriage of justice will now explain to you just why I am not, in fact, some kind of creepy pervert!"

Ichiro and Momiji look at me expectantly.

"It's because I'm not!" I declare.

They facepalm. Okay, not the response that I wanted, but I can recover! "Allow me to elaborate," I say, and take a moment to put my thoughts in order. "Okay, look. It's like this. Cirno was big news, right? Still is, from what little I've heard, but I'm talking, like, BIG big, you know what I mean? The freshness of something new?" The two cruel captors nod at my assessment. "Obviously, I'm gonna want to to report on something like that! It's as natural to me as... as booting intruders off the mountain is to you, Momi!" The wolf nods slowly at my assessment. "Or being a tightass is to Itchy here!" Ichiro groans and facepalms again. I ignore him.

"Okay, fine," Momiji says slowly, "I can buy that much, at least. But the pictures, Aya! You were stalking that poor girl!"

"I was demonstrating my appreciation to a fine, upstanding member of the community by giving her gifts that I thought she'd like, and benefiting the community in turn by taking pictures! I mean, you've seen her! She's adorable! How could I NOT take pictures of such a cutie?!" Really, sometimes I wonder about how bright Momiji is.

"The shrine of utter creepiness in your house, Aya," Momiji says flatly, giving me one of those looks. I hate those looks.

I gnash my teeth in irritation. Fine. I'll just come right out and say it. "I got carried away," I say through clenched teeth. "I admit it. Cirno was a source of big news, and also adorably cute, and I went too far. There, happy?!"

Momiji and Ichiro just stare at me in shock. Have they finally seen my pure spirit and the truth of the utter injustice heaped upon me?!

Momiji looks over at Ichiro. "She finally admitted that she was in the wrong," the wolf notes.

"A step in the right direction," my parole officer notes.

Arrrrggghhhh!

"Would you two give me a break, already?!" I shout in frustration. "Look, I'm sorry, okay?! I never meant to creep people out about Cirno! And I'm sorry that I kidnapped that darkness youkai, but I was gonna pay her back, and I needed her power to keep from being nabbed by patrols! And I never so much as touched her!"

"That's true," Ichiro notes, "According to Rumia's testimony, you only bored her to tears with what she termed 'endless yapping.'"

...Stupid darkness youkai. I give her a chance to be part of an amazing story, and that's how she repays me? Bah.

"Anyway, with Cirno, maybe I went too far, but it was all a matter of news and cuteness! Nothing more! I mean, I like cute things! Remember when Sanae showed me those adorable pictures of those kitty-cats with the misspelled words?" I giggle happily at the memory.

"Oh gods, don't remind me," Momiji groans, showing an appalling lack of appreciation for fine culture. "For months, you kept loading your newspaper full of pictures of cats with stupid captions."

"It was a nice change from the usual 'panty-parade' she put in the Bunbunmaru," Ichiro notes.

I plant my hands on my hips. "I will have you two know that the the 'laffy-cats' were downright hilarious, and underwear is relevant to the interests of many in Gensokyo, thank you very much! But never mind that. Momi, remember how obsessed I was with the laffy-kitties?"

"You posted pictures of them all over your house," Momiji sighs, "And yes, they did raise circulation for a while, and yes, you eventually dropped the whole thing when people lost interest."

"Only now my collection of laffy-kitties in ashes now, thanks to SOMEONE," I snap, glaring at my wolfy malefactor.

"All right, well, what about all of this talk about turning little Cirno into a woman, huh?" Momiji snaps back.

"Yes, that is at the core of our concerns," Ichiro agrees, giving me a serious look.

"I didn't mean it!" I wail, "I mean, that was just silly-talk! I'd never touch someone that young. Well, not young chronologically, but you know what I mean! Way younger than me, anyway. What I mean is, I wasn't seriously gonna do stuff to Cirno or anything! I just wanted to hang around her cuz she's so darned cute, and a huge draw for readers, to boot! That's all, serious!"

Traitorous Momiji gives me a skeptical look, then glances over at Ichiro. "Well, what do you think?"

Ichiro frowns. "Honestly? I believe her. We've been carefully prodding Aya's reactions, and she shows no particular attraction to people below a certain age."

"That's because I'm not a creepy pervert!" I protest.

"Just a garden-variety pervert, huh?" Momiji asks with a sigh. I do not deign to answer her. It's not my fault that I like to experiment, dammit! "Still, I guess that I can believe her. It was always a little hard to take that Aya could conceivably do... that sort of thing." She gives me a strange look that gives me an unpleasant twinge. Momi actually looks kinda... disappointed? Relieved? A little of both?

"Well, am willing to accept that Aya does not pose a threat to Cirno in particular, or youthful people in general," Ichiro says with a nod.

"Thank you," I say, with a pleased nod. At last, vindication!

"This does not change the fact, however, that she has done nearly irreparable damage to her own reputation, and tarnished that of the tengu in general," Ichiro adds, giving me a cool look.

"Eheheh... oops?" I offer. Admittedly, sneaking into Cirno's room and taking pictures of her sleeping was maybe, just maybe, a teensy tiny bit too much.

"Beyond that, Miss Shameimaru, you are currently poorly able to support yourself, given the loss of your home and the collapse of your newspaper," Ichiro adds.

I slump to the floor at this words. "My paaaapeeeerrrrrr...." I moan, feeling a sense of deep loss. My poor Bunbunmaru, my baby, my pride and joy! Torn away and left to rot, all due to people not understanding my pure journalistic spirit!

...Well, fine. I guess I kinda sorta went overboard on the Cirno thing, and maybe kinda had it coming. Just a bit. But still! For a sweet young maiden's pride and joy to be torn away like that! It's heartbreaking beyond belief, I tell you!

I weep pitiably to myself, no doubt a heartbreaking scene that would move anyone to pity. At least, aside from bitchy Momi who's looking away in disgust, and unflappable Itchy who still doesn't have a fucking facial expression. Seriously, dude, just try smiling once in your life! It's a good workout for those facial muscles!

"...That being said, I have an idea that I've already run by Lord Tenma," Ichiro muses, looking off into the distance, "One that would allow you to regain your reputation, and restore your newspaper to its former glory. One that would give you an opportunity to restore your personal means, and do a great favor for the tengu, and a certain other as well."

"Yeah, yeah, you can do mysterious and vague, I gotcha," I say, wiping my face and standing up. "So... let's hear it, then. What's this big and mysterious plan, already?"

Ichiro looks at me consideringly. "It involves Hina Kagiyama, the goddess of misfortune."

Say what now?

"Lady Kagiyama?" Momiji remarks, "I had heard that Lord Tenma himself had been to speak with her."

"Yes," Ichiro says, when a miracle happens. He gets an expression on his face. AN HONEST TO GODS FACIAL EXPRESSION.

Where's my camera?! This is a code red emergency! This can only mean that the apocalypse is coming! And more to the point: "I say again, Itchy: what about Hina?"

Ichiro looks up at me with a troubled look on his face (SERIOUSLY, FACIAL EXPRESSION HOLY SHIT). "Have you read the story on Pleasant Meadows?"

A chill runs down my spine at the name. "Yeah. I mean, I don't normally read Hatate's paper..." stupidshutinupstartstealingmyscenewhothehelldoesshethinksheisanyway "...But Momiji pretty much forced it on me, and I read the whole things like, five times. My opinion? Holy shit."

"That's the general opinion," Ichiro agrees. "What concerns us more, however, is Lady Kagiyama's assessment of us and our actions, and her own rather... extreme... reaction."

"You mean how people kept bitching her out and making her feel like shit every time she figured she'd move somewhere that she'd probably get more worshipers?" I ask. "I mean, you guys didn't notice? Poor girl was getting to the point where she glared daggers every time a tengu went by her place."

Momiji and Ichiro just stare at me, stunned. I just snort. Stupid ultra-conservative culture. An old neighbor decides they want to move somewhere nicer, and all of a sudden, so much bitching! Honestly, it's no wonder the poor girl snapped. I really feel for her, she must feel like crap.

"Well... yes," Ichiro admits, coughing a little bit. "In any case, Lord Tenma feels that we tengu had a part to play in Lady Kagiyama's breakdown."

"You mean the part where we basically drove her into the arms of a psychopath, because she was just so bitter over how lousy the tengu were treating her?" I roll my eyes. "Sheesh, and Hina's supposed to be our ally! No wonder everyone thinks that we're all a bunch of jerks!"

Momiji and Ichiro stare at me again. "You are simultaneously the densest and most perceptive person that I know," Momi says wonderingly. "It's both incredibly fascinating and incredibly weird."

Feh. Wolves just don't get it.

Ichiro clears his throat again. "Well, regardless, it's quite clear that we tengu were inadvertently a part of this nightmare, and it seems that Lady Kagiyama is still less than enthused with us, which does not reflect well upon the tengu people. Even her meeting with Lord Tenma was very terse and to the point. Whatever her own actions, it doesn't change the fact that Lady Kagiyama feels that we have been holding her back, and otherwise making her life miserable. And really... we may very well have."

"Yeah, we totally are," I say simply. "We've been pushing her around for years, and she snapped. If we would just stay out of her way for once, she'd probably be loads happier. That's what I've always said, but no one ever listens to me." I sigh dramatically, conveying my utter contempt for the conservative establishment. "And the elders all have sticks up their butts. Big ones. As opposed to your moderate-sized one, Itchy, but I can tell that you're working on it 24-7." To hell with The Man, always keeping pure and honest journalists down!

Ichiro sighs and presses on. "With that in mind, Aya... we want you to help Lady Kagiyama."

......

"Huh?" I stare blankly.

"Your reputation is in shambles," Ichiro continues, "But your skills are unquestioned. We want you to put those skills to good use for once, and help Hina Kagiyama become a respected, notable figure in Gensokyo. At the very least, get people to stop fearing her as a bringer of misfortune, and come to see her as a bringer of blessings, a being who takes bad luck away. In so doing, you will have an opportunity to prove to the world that you have learned from your past transgressions, and can thereby burst back onto the scene, as it were." He raises an eyebrow. "What do you say?"

My head is spinning. Holy crap. That's just... just...

[ ] I accept completely!
[ ] I accept, but with these conditions! (specify)
[ ] Wait, wait, what am I supposed to do exactly?