Perhaps we can prank all of them in one day. This order sounds comfortable.  Go prank that Big Fairy with the pretty wings.  Go prank that Stupid Fairy with the strength and cold and stuff.  Go prank the Three Fairies. A Three for One that'll go down in legend!
So you aim for a fairy who doesn't even have a name.
You find a small patch of flowers by the lake shore. You see the Big Fairy staring in confused concentration at a book in her ha- Hold up.
You know that book! It's Goldilocks! You love that book! But isn't that book in English?
Daiyousei can't read English!
[ ] That means she's confused and vulnerable! - [ ] Hit 'er with a stink bomb! - [ ] Use you're secret weapon! Snake-patterned-cloth-wrapped-over-a-coiled-spring-in-a-can! (Name a work in progress) - [ ] Sneak up and tap her shoulder!
[ ] Man, though, it's been forever since I've read that book... - [ ] Ask her if you can read it. - [ ] Take the book SNEAKILY.
[x] Sit down next to her and start reading along. - [x] Lean over at head-ruffling height.
You sit down next to her. She's focusing so hard that she probably wouldn't have noticed you if not for one of the bobbles on your hat brushing her head. She jolts at the touch and turns to identify the intruder. Seeing you, she freezes in fear.
Hmm hmm! So your reputation precedes you!
You place a hand on the book and watch the big fairy's face. You watch her eyes grow in terror. She thinks you're gonna' steal her book!
You pick it up and place it in your lap. You lean in to the fai-
You fall on your side to the dirt. You pick yourself up, miffed to hell and back.
The big fairy looks scared as heck.
You sit up, proud that you're so well known! Hmm hmm HMM!
You begin with the title.
"Goldilocks and the Three Bears."
You open the book.
You give the big fairy a pointed smile. Warm and inviting and what-not.
She steps forward like a trembling doe, expecting a trap. You hold out your hand slowly, inviting her in.
She stops at your hand, then, tentatively, gingerly inserts her head under your haaaaaaaAAAAAAAA-
[ ] -AAAAAAAAAAAA~!!! - [ ] HEADPATS? AND YOU'RE GIVING THEM FOR ONCE? - - [ ] HEADPAT WITH ALL YOUR MIGHT! - - [ ] NO! RESTRAIN YOURSELF! - - - [ ] NO HEADPATS YET! - - - [ ] ONLY A FEW HEADPATS!
[ ] PULL BACK! TOO CLOSE! - [ ] IGNORE HER TOUCH! - - [ ] RESIST HEADPATS!
[ ] Keep reading.
[ ] Focus on your other choice.
You thought you would RECEIVE the headpats, but it was NOT TO BE!
4 votes for HEADPATS and most of those call for RESTRAINT.
You begin petting the big fairy. She's bigger than you, but... She looks so happy...
She's blushing... And she's warm... Her hair is silky smooth... She's blushing real hard...
One hand isn't enough.
You add a second hand for twice the petting. The fairy is making adorable moaning sounds.
VERY adorable. TOO adorable.
You pull her in to your lap and pet the side of her face.
She grabs one of your hands, nuzzles in to it and MEWLS.
Your breathing is heavy. You must RESIST or something BAD might happen!
Clownpiece is UNACCUSTOMED to actually GIVING HEADPATS OUT. She does not know HOW to PAT RESPONSIBLY, let alone RESIST.
[ ] Think of terrible things! (choose 2, if you want.) - [ ] Country music! - [ ] Icky snails! - [ ] Icky boys! - [ ] Your failed acting career! - [ ] Your early years in the home land! - [ ] That time with the dog on the beach when you were a toddler that ended up being a big advertisement that you never lived down! - [ ] That time you looked yourself up on the internet when Master wasn't home!
[X]A TOUHOU HAS INTERNET ACCESS? has the win with no ties!
This big ol' fairy is WEAPONIZED CUTE! And the fact that she's bigger than you in every way is making it VERY HARD to block out the fact that a pretty girl who you'd probably want headpats from VERY MUCH is enjoying your headpats far too much to be safe.
You have to block this out before you take things too far!
Think of something terrible!
You remember that one time you looked up "Clownpiece" without the Safe Search or master to save you?
You're now in to barf and dogs.
You're NEVER gonna' live that down for you're eternal technically-fairy life!
No one must EVER KNOW!
IT'S NOT WORKING!
SHE'S TRYING TO KISS YOU!
THAT'S OVERRIDING JUST ABOUT ANYTHING FRUSTRATING YOU CAN THINK OF AND REPLACING ANXIETY WITH P A N I C !
If you'd been PROPERLY DISTRACTED...
... You shudder to THINK of it!
There is a BIG PRETTY FAIRY trying to kiss you!
On the LIPS!
[ ] Freeze in terror.
[ ] Pass out.
[ ] Confess that your heart isn't ready.
Seriously, I almost forgot what this story's supposed to be about.
You freeze in shock. This is the first time ANYBODY has shown romantic interest in you! You know, aside from that time Uncle Dionysus tried to get with you at that one Going Away party, but the familiar taste of family-brewed Protein-flavored wine is irrelevant!
The important thing here is that someone is trying to get with you, and neither of you are completely smashed!
What do you do? Do you lean in? Lean back? Do you sweep her off her feet? Do you ask her name NOW? What do you tell master? Or that Star Sapphire girl who you're fairly certain has the hots for you?
You think. You're not sure about that. You could be reading in to it wrong.
But what do you DO here? Isn't there supposed to be a date or drunken religious party FIRST before undrunken kisses? Isn't that how babies are made? That's how MASTER says babies are made! Kissing while sober signals the stork louder than when your drunk! You don't know how to handle storks! What do you feed it? What DO storks eat?
The faint taste of green tea meets your lips, but for only a moment. The fairy stares up at you, lust in her eyes. Her voice, a breath through a wildflower field in spring, begs you...
"... No more pats... It's too much..."
Clownpiece was panicking and unable to maintain her train of thought! Her guard was down!
[ ] Story! - [ ] Read!
[ ] Pat! - [ ] L I G H T L Y
I figure a Greek Madness Nymph might be closer to a Maenad, so let's go with that for this story.
You must FOCUS ON THE MISSION! You have to read this book to her until she falls asleep! You can't set up a prank while she's awake! If you speak to her, though, she may respond. The longer you maintain eye contact with this large fairy, the more dangerous the situation becomes!
You nod in agreement, but don't say a word. She turns back to the book, eager to find out what happens next.
"In the cottage, Goldilocks found three chairs. A big-sized wooden chair, a little-sized pillow chair and a medium-sized cushion chair."
The big fairy doesn't say a word. She seems to be focused intently. You continue.
After LOTS of BOOK READING, the big fairy is now SLEEPING in your CLOWNY LAP.
[ ] Pet
[ ] Pet
[ ] Pat
[ ] Pet
[ ] Peeeet
[ ] Pet
[ ] PRANK!!!!! - But how? - [ ] Whoopee cushion? - [ ] Oh, Oh, AIRHORN! - [ ] Whipped cream all over her hand! - - [ ] Then tickle her nose! - [ ] Use the torch to look like her daughter! - [ ] Your trademark special prank! Snake-colored-cloth-wrapped-around-a-coiled-spring-in-a-can-labeled-peanut-brittle! - [ ] Dog collar! Make her think she's your pet! - [ ] Surround her with math and geography books! Every fairy's mortal enemy!
[spoiler][ ] Peek at that one Futo story that should probably get an update... - [ ] You lazy shit