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File 164715488932.png - (61.96KB, 200x325, 200px-Shock_trooper.png)
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"What's this, a crossover episode?"



The alien woke up and found, to its bafflement, that it didn't have any memories to recall. He may not have remembered anything, but he figured he knew enough to be confident that this was not natural, at least not natural for him.

He had awakened somewhere warm, probably provided by the great burning mass resting far above where he stood. Claws shifting uneasily in the dirt, his single, great eye roved around at what looked to be miles of green vegetation, intermittently spliced through by streams of water. Nothing was strikingly familiar.

Ack, he said inwardly, This might be where I live. Or work. A clawed appendage rose to rest just beneath a gnarled, hideous gape. Do I work? What kind of work am I supposed to do with all this green stuff? How will I know if I ever worked or not? It doesn't matter. The thought was terminated shortly. Although he knew zilch about himself, he quickly latched on to the notion that he was a thinking, rational, whatever-he-was. While his current predicament would've been a cause for concern to someone else, he felt it wasn't the same for him, that he was made of something stronger. He lifted one of his longer appendages and flexed.

After all, I do seem to have...considerable muscle mass. Hah.

Yes, he was a thinking, rational, and strong creature, and he would find a way to reorient his poor, frazzled mind. That was all that mattered now.

[] - He had a strange-looking device attached to one of his lovely appendages. It squirmed.
[] - Perhaps a clue would lie in the plant-life that surrounded him. Was it edible?
[] - That great ball of heat was a little irksome.
[] - His keen eye spotted another lifeform not too far from him. Communication would be a good thing to test out.



So hear me out, I know this is a little strange. I just came up with this idea and decided to run with it. The beginning is short and a little rocky, but things will get more natural as I go along, feel free to air any grievances, or share any initial thoughts.
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[X] - That great ball of heat was a little irksome.

The sun should always be the first boss, that said I don't recognize you because my brain is small but more stories are always the better. So let's go see where this will take us.
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[X] - He had a strange-looking device attached to one of his lovely appendages. It squirmed.
Just press it.
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The vote is tied, working on the next update.
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He gazed balefully up at the sky, the throne of his nemesis. Yes, the irritatingly bright ball in the sky would be his first adversary, he decided it just then. His first, great feat, of many that he was confident he’d make, would be to destroy the celestial sphere. Unfortunately, it seemed that his nemesis had a similar idea, the alien snapped his gaze down to where his mangled claws dug into the soil, and hissed. The sphere hurt to look at! How was he expected to do battle with an enemy that could blind him without even touching him? He hissed again, the sound of it like a snake that had been stepped on.

Lifting all four of his saw-like fists, he raised his head high into the air, stared directly into the flaming sphere, and with all his might released a war cry so savage that he was sure it cut through the atmosphere like a knife. His voice died down, the fragments of his cry repeated itself continuously until it was eventually absorbed by the calm, taciturn rays of light. Nothing. His adversary was silent. His eye stung, he shifted it back to the ground.

It must be intimidated. It’s been made speechless by my performance. The alien laughed to himself, “Kiml, kiml:” an insectoid chitter. He didn’t feel victorious, if anything he felt cheated. In truth, it had only been about a few minutes since he his awakening among the small, green plants with no memories to speak of, but in that short amount of time he had come to realize something: he had a strong sense of superiority. Over what, he couldn’t quite say, perhaps in general; he was superior over every lifeform that had, has, and will ever exist. But the only lifeform he knew so far was himself, and therein lied the problem: he had no means to prove his theory was true. How could he test his superiority if there were no enemies to challenge it?

He sneered (or appeared to, with a complexion like his who could tell?) and kicked up a clump of the dirt with his foot. The soil underneath was black and glistening, he observed it distractedly and then stole a glance back at the sky. Perhaps the flaming sphere knew of his plight, his strange desire to challenge himself, perhaps it had watched many others of his kind as it doggedly watched him now, perhaps it understood him more than he understood himself in his current empty-minded state. Perhaps it would tell him if he just asked.

He hissed again and bore his fangs at it, a reminder that they were still enemies. The heat it produced was dismal. He decided at that moment to stop thinking about the flaming sphere, or the bleakness of his situation, or whatever happened before he woke up, or his splintered pride, or whatever. Just focus on something else, something more important, that’s what he needed to do. His eye wandered over the plain of green plants, there must have been no end to the stuff. Maybe everything was covered in it? He made to look back down at his clawed feet, out of habit now, but his attention was caught halfway. There was something latched on to one of his lovely appendages. It resembled an extra limb, but he wasn’t fully sure of what it was, it stood out quite clearly from the rest of himself. Six small, black needles were bored into the flesh of one of his smaller arms. He shook it experimentally, the thing seemed to have quite a hold. Daintily, carefully, he nudged it with a claw, it squirmed.

Lifting his arm to get a better look, he noticed how one end of the thing opened out from his body, with a sharp point jutting out from its center and three prongs coming along either side of it. Interesting. He studied the thing on his arm at several angles, trying to discern if it was some kind of parasite or prosthetic. It was definitely alive, so signs were pointing towards the former. Just as he began to consider simply wrenching the thing off, he became aware of something. A sound, some kind of tune, it was coming not too far away from where he was.

On some instinct, he took a deep inhale. The air carried the scent of something . . . warm. Not irritating like the flaming sphere, but something softer, smaller, sweeter. The scent fired up something in the back of his alien mind, the scent was familiar, pleasant in the same way that a piece of candy or a chocolate is pleasant. It was a meal! Or, at the very least a midday snack. A purr bubbled up out of his mouth, he remembered the sweet taste of something very nice.

He jerked his head towards the direction of the tune, whatever produced the sound carried the scent with it as well. Perhaps this is how I get my food, he wondered as his body lowered until the plants towered above all around him. With an impressive physique like this, I suppose it’s only natural that I’m an apex predator he mused with a dark chuckle as he stalked and weaved towards the location of the scent.

In a clearing, the alien found something...

[] - Gray

[] - Blue

[] - Brown
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[x] Blue.
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[X] - Brown
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[X] Brown
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[x] - Gray
The neutral choice.
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[X] - Blue
blue is a nice colour
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[x] - Gray
Call me the tie-maker
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[X] Brown
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The vote is decided. Update soon.
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A massive, brown tail, ringed by black stripes lazily swayed in the cool midday breeze. Mamizou, humming a nameless tune, was bent on her haunches in the middle of a trodden dirt path. She took a deep drag from her pipe, exhaled, and pushed a pair of glasses back up the bridge of her nose as she scrutinized the earth below her. Strange tracks were carved into it, two thin lines that joined at a base. The tanuki boss hadn’t the slightest clue what could have made them, their scent was unlike anything she was familiar with.

Mamizou continued to hum as she pondered the tracks’ possible owner. She suspected it was some kind of youkai that wasn’t well-known, those tended to crop up every now and again, but the shape was awfully peculiar, she wondered if the mystery youkai was some kind of bird. It would have to be a really big bird, judging by how the tracks sank into the dirt. In any case, whatever it was hadn’t stayed on the road for long, most of the tracks veered off to the side and into the nearby irrigation fields. If anything, Mamizou was glad that they didn’t lead towards the shrine, Reimu typically wasn’t fond of visitors when they were of the youkai persuasion. It was bad for what little reputation her precious shrine had.

Though Mamizou was absorbed in her musings, she was not unaware of a silent presence that had appeared to her left, trying to hide among the field’s crops. The mystery youkai had arrived, no doubt. She couldn’t gleam any details, but the strange, foreign scent was there and more prominent than what lingered on the dirt road. Mamizou lifted the pipe back into her mouth and continued to hum, tail gently swaying back and forth, as she waited for the stranger to make their move.

The alien felt very proud of himself. He had followed the scent with ease and now his bounty lay right in front of him. He observed Mamizou’s tail as it flowed behind her with a captivating rhythm, it seemed to him that her tail was shaded in the most charming color. The alien realized that he could lose himself in the slow, subtle movement of her tail. However, this odd creature was still prey, regardless of how beautiful it looked, the alien mused.

However, when he got a better look at her, the alien became equally as captivated by the rest of Mamizou, too. Her body was thin and gave the impression of being something very fragile. Her eyes were lawless, deemed the alien, he could divine a small light from within them that danced in such a marvelous way. She was the only other thing he had found since he awoke that actually moved, he wondered if perhaps they could share a kinship with one another.

Then the warm scent returned to him, and he remembered that he was far above the thing sitting in the clearing like easy pickings, he admonished and reminded himself that he was here to dignify his natural superiority.

The alien stalled for a while, he waited to see what his prey would do. Then, when she did not move, he built up all his strength, and leaped out of hiding, claws prone towards the clueless beast, spoiling for the sensation of soft flesh, tender flesh. But the feeling never came, for before the alien hit the ground, Mamizou had moved out of the way. It happened so fast, next thing he knew her arm, thin but unnaturally strong, had wrapped around his neck and he realized that she had been waiting for him. He was trapped in a fierce headlock, Mamizou forced him to bend forwards so that he reached her comparatively shorter stature. The alien hissed dumbfoundedly.

Mamizou smiled and took another drag from her pipe, the stench of tobacco crowded the alien’s nostrils and made his eye water.

“Boy, you’re a big one, aren’t ya?” The tanuki, with her years of experience and extensive knowledge on youkai, didn’t know what category the creature she kept locked in place would fit into. It was much taller than her, and its physique was nothing to sneeze at either. Its chitinous skin seemed to bulge under the size of its own muscles. It was also very angry, that much was easy to see, it must’ve been a newborn youkai that hadn’t been taught Gensokyo’s rules quite yet. It was fortunate then, that it had found her first instead of some unsuspecting human from the village. She could imagine him making quick work of the farmer that would inevitably come by to check on his field. That kind of incident wouldn’t end well for youkai or humans.

Mamizou was torn out of her thoughts when, to her great surprise, the alien began to speak, or tried to, at least. Everything came out harsh and mechanical, its reptilian eye stared intently into hers. She didn’t understand a word, but if it was trying to communicate then it was a lot smarter than she had given it credit for. Perhaps, and it sounded unlikely but it was worth try, perhaps this youkai could be reasoned with.

“Hey, hey slow down,” it seemed enraptured in its own speech as the noises grew more intense, “Hey, calm down. I can’t understand...”

The alien’s voice grew in even greater intensity, Mamizou sighed and, lifting her pipe, lightly bopped it on its head. It stopped immediately.

“Alright, maybe we got off on the wrong foot.” Mamizou, against her better judgement, released it from her hold. The alien straightened to his full height and stepped a pace back from her, he stood quiet and motionless. Mamizou held her arms up in a peaceful gesture. “I’m not going to hurt you unless you try to hurt me, it’s just, people don’t usually like to be attacked without any particular reason, y’know.” The pipe returned to her mouth. “I’m willing to bet you can sort of understand me, right?”

The alien was surprised to see that the creature spoke an entirely different language from him. Frankly, it was a disgusting language, but her voice, sweeter than even the scent of prey, still managed to fashion the noise into something that was at least tolerable. But he still found it ugly, and also eerily familiar. With his advanced alien mind, he was able to pick up on a few words and distinguish their meaning here and there, thankfully Mamizou seemed adamant on communicating with him and thus spoke a lot of words.

After few frustrating minutes, Mamizou eventually gave up, she sighed irritably and took another long drag, which she exhaled in an weary huff. The alien observed her curiously, since she had stopped talking, he figured that it would be a good time as any to try out this new, ugly language. The alien grabbed her attention by clearing his throat, he directly into her eyes, and with one sentence, he uttered his first ever human words:

[] - "Do you alwayzz tahhk so much?"
[] - "I didnnn't unnerstan' any a' that."
[] - write in




Image source: (https://k0nfette.tumblr.com/post/615211956211679232/mamizou)

Done and done at last.
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[x] - “i didn’t understand any of that.”

First option is kinda funny, but clear communication between both parties is key. Or at least, as clear as you can get
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[x] - "How zzzmall food hi'e powah!?"

Poor alien needs to learn that size isn't everything.

Just in case: "How small food hide power!?"
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[X] - "I didnnn't unnerstan' any a' that."
I agree, I'm leaning towards being a cheeky shit personally, but its probably best not to risk a misunderstanding with someone that can kill you like a trapped rat.

On a separate note though, anyone else getting the impression that this ?vortigaunt? is oddly horny for raccoon dog?
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[x] - "I didnnn't unnerstan' any a' that."
He just wants some tail.
He knows the might of mofu.
Base instincts to trust.
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>>68608
I guess her tail does look very fluffy. Hmm...
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Update imminent, bear with me.
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This looks interesting so far can't wait for more!
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“I didnnn’t unnerstan’ any a’ that.”

The bakedanuki, caught by surprise, bent double and began to cough out harsh puffs of smoke. The alien shuffled awkwardly, he hadn’t figured his reply would startle her so much, perhaps she was easily excitable. He pondered if this trait was endemic to her entire species, or just unique to her individually. Maybe he should stick around until more brown, fuzzy creatures showed up and observe their behavior just to be sure. His gaze wandered over their surroundings, since the excitement had died down, the alien felt a curious desire to learn more about this place he found himself in. He felt this world, with a bright sphere hanging in the sky, with plants covering so much of the ground, with strange creatures that spoke in an ugly language, was not home; though he had no recollection of what “home” was supposed to be.

Finally, after a brief fit, Mamizou wiped a hand across her mouth and scrutinized the alien with a look that lied somewhere between confusion and amazement.

“You talked…” She didn’t sound like she believed it. The alien replied with a butchered, “‘Courzz I talk. Kiml, kiml.” He crossed both sets of arms and bathed in what he believed was the youkai’s awe. Admittedly, the unruly language was hard to grasp, but the alien was confident that he had mastered it.

Mamizou was not of a like-minded opinion. Even though the great bakedanuki’s hearing was considerably better than the average human’s, she still found trouble in discerning the alien’s crude speech. It wasn’t just that his pronunciation was awful (it was childish at best), but the voice of the alien presented a large bulk of the problem, his scratchy, electronic lilt gave it a menacing edge.

Mamizou considered what to do with the burly, gray-skinned youkai. She had hoped to see if he could understand her, but she really didn’t expect him to talk back. He was undoubtedly intelligent, and a quick learner to boot, but he was too frightening to let anywhere near the village. She still didn’t know what kind of youkai or legend this creature was derived from, either. His appearance and speech were completely foreign.

What’s really important right now is making sure this thing doesn’t cause any trouble. If it harms one of the humans form the village, then there’ll be hell to pay. Can’t have one hapless youkai mess things up for everyone else.

“Er...” Unfortunately, she had no idea how to approach speaking to him. After brief consideration, she settled for a simple, “Can you understand what I’m saying?” Spoken slowly and deliberately, for added measure.

“…Yehzz, can unnerstan’,” the alien’s eye shifted to the side briefly, “Understand. Can understand.”

“Alright…alright…good.” That didn’t really amount to anything, but at the very least she had clearer confirmation.

A clicking, chattering sound came from within the alien’s throat, “Lizzen…lizzen, you…”

The alien seemed to struggle with the words, “You…you…mm.” The slit of the alien’s eye constricted, the color of it turned to a light red. “You…mm…you…” The alien failed to grasp at something. Mamizou watched the protrusions that served as his “mouth”, slowly grinding against one another, with slight disgust.

“Listen, why don’t we-”

“Zzzmall.”

The Bake-danuki blinked slowly, “I beg yer’ pardon?”

How zzzmall food hi’e powah?!” The alien shrilled, Mamizou covered her ears and grimaced.

“Hey, take it easy,” she scolded, but then added with a grin, “Power, huh? Well, at least you recognize your betters!”

Mamizou chuckled and gave the alien a firm pat on the back, before taking on a lecturing tone as she led him off the path and towards someplace else. “Listen here,” (Another drag), “You’re probably really confused, got all sorts of urges floating around in yer’ noggin.” She bopped the alien on the head with her pipe, eliciting a faint grumble from him, “I know it doesn’t feel natural, but you can’t listen to em’, or else they’ll getcha into trouble.”

The bakedanuki continued on a bit of a tangent, something along the lines of “restraint” and “true power”, the alien only paid a respectful amount of attention from what little he could gleam, her language would forever remain ugly to him. Though she was the first person the alien had met since he had forgotten himself, the main reason he stayed with her was out of a simple recognition of her strength. She had swiftly and easily bested him in combat, therefore she deserved his respect. And besides, it wasn’t like the alien had anything better to do, anyway.

(Although he did dread that Mamizou’s habit of talking at length would become something he would have to tolerate in the future.)

Thankfully, Mamizou’s destination wasn’t too far away from where they were, and as the bakedanuki rambled on, the alien noticed they had reached:

[] - The base of a long flight of stairs.
[] - A wider path that was made of stone.
[] - A separate path that snaked into the wilderness





Sorry for a short update after such a long wait. I'll try not to have such big pauses in the future.

>>68607
I don't think I specified this, the alien is a shock trooper, a member from Race X, which was basically just a weirder version of the Xen aliens who only exist in the spin-off, "Half-Life: Opposing Force".

>>68609
Alien friend is very fond of fluff.

>>68618
Thank you for reading, I'm glad you're enjoying it!
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[x] -The base of a long flight of stairs.
I wanna see Suika
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[X] - A wider path that was made of stone.

Can't think of any place at the top of my head with that description.
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[x] - The base of a long flight of stairs.
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[x] -The base of a long flight of stairs.
Long stairs could be a lot of things.
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[x] - The base of a long flight of stairs.
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Long flight of stairs it is.
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The Alien was grateful when Mamizou had finally stopped talking, for they had reached the base of a long flight of stairs. The Alien had never seen stairs before, or at least he assumed he didn’t, he couldn’t quite remember. Whether he had or hadn’t, he was confident that he had never seen any as long or daunting as these and already dreaded the process of somehow getting himself up them.

“Ah, here we are,” Mamizou was clearly familiar with this place, the Alien decided to give her his full attention now, seeing as she knew the area. “Before we go up there, jus’ lemme take care of something first.”

She reached into a sleeve and, with a flourish, revealed a small, green leaf. The Alien considered the meaning of this gesture, until Mamizou unceremoniously leapt into the air and slapped the leaf onto the top of his head. Immediately, a cloud of smoke sprung from the leaf and enveloped the Alien, before vanishing just as suddenly. A little disoriented and deeply confused, the Alien made to ask about what just happened.

“Um…”

Woah, that didn’t sound right. He tried again.

“Uh…”

For some reason, his voice sounded completely different. As a matter of fact, it didn’t even sound like his voice at all. It was a little too high, and a little too…squeaky? His confusion increased when he took a look at his hands.

They were wrong.

They were pale, they were small, they were fat, and they were wrong. Even worse, there were only two of them, his other two had vanished. Wracked with shock, the Alien slowly moved his new hands to feel his face and discovered that it was wrong too. It felt chubbier, and he was frightened to realize he had two eyes instead of one. Fearing anymore changes, he slowly reached for the top of his head, and recoiled as he felt the tips of two small, fluffy ears. That wasn’t the end of it, he felt something moving behind him and as he turned around his clumsy new eyes caught the retreating end of tail. In the span of an instant, his body had stopped being his own.

He turned to Mamizou, who wasn’t even trying to hide her amusement, and attempted to demand an answer, but all that came was a frail, indignant-sounding whine.

“Wahhh…”

Mamizou smiled confidently and crossed her arms, “Feels weird dunnit? That’s some grade-A Tanuki magic I hit ya with!” She laughed boisterously, “Ohohohoho!” It was the most unpleasant sound the Alien had ever heard.

In his changed form, the Alien snarled at Mamizou in hopes of conveying how unsatisfied he was, the effect was lost now that he was cute as a button and only reached up to her waist. With a wide smile, Mamizou rubbed the top of his head, which had become covered in light brown hair. “Hey now, no need to throw a tantrum.” She tapped the leaf she had slapped on him earlier which, strangely, seemed to be firmly attached to his head.

“This is just a disguise, y’see? You can take the leaf off whenever you want and go back to yer’ original form. Ah-“, she grabbed the Alien’s arm, “Don’t take it off yet. You’ll need it for where we’re headed.” With her free hand, Mamizou jerked her thumb up towards the top of the stairs, “The girl up there won’t take kindly to you otherwise”



Autumn leaves fell from their branches to decorate the stone stairs which, to the Alien, seemed to grow out from within the side of the mountain. They had been walking for some time before Mamizou suggested they rest at a landing which gave temporary pause to the onslaught of granite steps. Mamizou sat underneath a wooden shrine lantern and smoked while the Alien stood nearer to a tree and sulked.

From what he understood, his companion had somehow made his body, not his body, by using an object which he now knew as a “leaf”. Though there were plenty of these “leaves” beneath his feet, it appeared that the one his companion forced onto him was special.

He stared down at his hands as he slowly and individually flexed each one of his new fingers. The Alien hated how uncomfortable he felt within this false body’s skin.

When he, in as few words with his limited vocabulary, had demanded to know her reasoning, his companion had assured him that this small, frail body was so he would appear non-threatening, and not incur the wrath of something called a “Shrine Maiden,” whose territory they were soon to be breaching upon. She had said that this disguise was in his “best interest,” which the Alien interpreted as, “This is something you don’t understand, so just follow my lead and please don’t make any trouble.”

A low chitter came across as a canine growl through the false body’s throat. Everything about this new form repulsed him; his skin felt too soft, his hair felt uncomfortable, his mouth was too dry, his eyes made him feel dizzy, and everything was just too damn big. The longer tail, however, was the sole welcome reprieve; and as he brooded, the Alien clutched the small, fluffy thing in his arms and rubbed the false body’s chubby face against its soft, inviting fur.

The sensation was pure bliss.



“Sorry about the long climb, I just find it more relaxin’ to take the stairs.”

The Alien and his odd, body-changing companion had finally conquered those accursed stairs, and the two now stood victorious underneath the Hakurei Shrine’s massive red torii gate. And despite her words, Mamizou did not look the least bit sorry at all.

“Well, here we are. Come along now and be polite, y'here? I don’t want you to be makin' a ruckus.”

The Alien’s response was a grumble.

The Bakedanuki held the small, round hand of the Alien’s disguise as she walked out in front of him and towards a ramshackle building surrounded by out-of-season cherry blossom trees. The proprietress, a spectacular and raven-haired girl wrapped in red and white, was sat on her porch nursing a small cup in her hands, her two merciless eyes locked the two visitors in a glare as they approached.

Mamizou stopped just short of the shrine maiden, and the Alien stopped just short of Mamizou. Their hands were still connected, and the Alien marveled at the warmth emanating from their contact. He was removed from this wonder as the shrine maiden spoke.

“What do you want, Mamizou?”

“Is that any way to treat a shrine’s visitor?” Mamizou let go of the Alien’s hand and brandished a small pouch, the healthy din of a few yen coins could be heard as she gave it a little shake, “Without proper hospitality, I just might reconsider leavin’ this ‘ere donation.”

“I don’t want any tanuki leaves.” The shrine maiden remarked cheerlessly, before taking a sip of her drink. “What’s with the pup?”

Mamizou nudged the Alien forward as she answered good-naturedly, “Oh, I’m just takin’ her out for a stroll. She’s a little wet behind the ears, so I figured she should at least know all about our wonderful Shrine Maiden of Paradise.”

The Shrine Maiden of Paradise scoffed, “Sounds more like you just wanted to use her to mooch some food off me, there’s no point in trying to butter me up.” Despite saying this, the shrine maiden still put her drink down on the porch and rose to her feet. “The name’s Hakurei Reimu,” she said to the Alien, “I’m the one who’s gotta deal with you when you start making trouble. So don’t.”

The look in her eyes was filled with so much steel, that the Alien almost wasn’t ashamed for feeling intimidated.

The look was short-lived, however. After saying her piece, the moody shrine maiden, Hakurei Reimu, made her way inside to fetch some extra tea for her uninvited company. Mamizou ruffled the disguised Alien’s hair as she went to sit on the front porch.

The Alien, not fully understanding the exchange which just took place, finding himself in an unknown and possibly hostile location, trapped within a weak body which put him at a significant disadvantage, rattled (not that he would admit it) by the shrine maiden’s glare, held onto his false body’s long, striped tail for comfort.

[] - Until he was abruptly approached by a diminutive, horned lifeform.

[] - Until the shrine maiden made her return with extra beverages.




Alien Friend finds himself in an uncomfortable and bizarre situation.
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[x] - Until he was abruptly approached by a diminutive, horned lifeform.
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[X] - Until he was abruptly approached by a diminutive, horned lifeform.

>held onto his false body’s long, striped tail for comfort

Goddamn adorable.
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[x] - Until he was abruptly approached by a diminutive, horned lifeform.
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[x] - Until he was abruptly approached by a diminutive, horned lifeform.
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[x] - Until he was abruptly approached by a diminutive, horned lifeform.

Half-life shock trooper Cyoa
I like the idea.
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[X] - Until he was abruptly approached by a diminutive, horned lifeform.
Watermelon.
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“Hey, lil’ cutie…”

The Alien’s attention snapped to a presence that had somehow managed to appear beside him without prickling any of his senses. A diminutive lifeform, sporting two great horns that were almost comical in comparison with the rest of it. The lifeform was around the same height as his disguise, it was smiling at him cheerfully, though the meaning of a smile and facial expressions in general were lost on the Alien. Its flushed cheeks and slurred speech were the calling card of a drunk.

From the porch, Mamizou watched the Hakurei Shrine’s number one freeloader and chuckled lightly to herself. If Suika was involved, then it was a guarantee there would be good afternoon entertainment to accompany the tea.

Ibuki Suika unhooked her miraculous gourd from her waist and gave a jovial grin, “Whassa matter? You look really tense, y’know?” She took a quick sip from her drink and thrusted it towards the bewildered Alien’s face, “Here ya go! This should cheer you right up!”

For a silent moment the Alien merely stared at the gourd, then a clarity settled over his features.

Ack, this behavior is unbecoming of me.

Hadn’t he not so long ago concluded that he was superior? Sure, he struck out on his last confrontation, but that didn’t make him any less formidable, and wearing this small, frail body didn’t make him weak. He may not be the strongest, but existing as a true superior being took more than strength alone.

Wasn’t he quickly mastering these natives’ disgusting language? Wasn’t he able to form an alliance with the very creature he tried to kill?

And right now, wasn’t one of the inhabitants of this territory handing him an offering of peace?

Clearly, the disguise had infected his magnificent brain. He needed to stop being meek and start exerting himself.

The Alien pushed the gourd back towards Suika’s chest. This appeared to surprise her.

Standing as tall as he could, the Alien looked her right in the eyes and replied, “Not need.” The disguise made his voice sound all squeaky, but the Alien fancied that he could still command respect with it.

The little oni was more than a little confused. Depending on who you asked, she either happily offered or happily forced drinks to innumerable people for as far back as she could bother recalling, but she had never offered any drinks to a child before, so she found herself a little out of her element. With a weaker smile she asked, “Eh…what do you mean by that?”

The Alien took one step back and folded his arms, “Not need. I come in peace.”

Suika stared at the tanuki pup. The pup stared at her with eyes that betrayed no feeling. Try as she might, the oni couldn’t confidently guess what the pup was thinking.

Huh? Did I miss something? ‘Come in peace?’ Does she think I wanna fight her? Ah man… I don’t know how to handle kids…um…

“L…look!” She lifted her gourd high, threw her head back, and let the sake stream into her mouth like a waterfall. When she was finished, she wiped her hand across her mouth and extended the gourd once more towards the disguised alien. “See? It’s a drink, a drink! I’m saying I wanna have a drink with you!” She declared with another cheerful grin.

The Alien stared into Suika’s expression. Then, he unfolded his arms and used them both to grasp the oni’s gourd. He connected the gourd’s mouth with his own, slowly tilted his entire head backwards, and drank.


And drank.





And drank…








“Uh…” Suika’s cheerful grin had changed into something a little more awkward, “You…can stop drinking now, you know?”

The Alien abruptly lurched his head forwards and pulled the gourd out of his mouth with an audible pop. Cheeks unflushed, eyes as clear and inscrutable as ever, the Alien held the gourd back towards the oni and spoke with no trace of a slur, “Yes. Drink good.”

Suika slowly took the gourd from him and hooked it back to her waist. She laughed in a way that sounded more like an exhale, “Haa…ha….yeah…” She shuffled in place a little, “Um…that was pretty impressive. You must be a pretty heavy drinker, huh?”

The Alien wasn’t quite sure how to respond. The diminutive lifeform had insisted that he take her peace offering, but she didn’t seem very delighted now that he had. Did he do it wrong? Maybe there was a trick to it he hadn’t pulled off.

As he pondered, a part of his mind flared up suddenly and began to throb rhythmically. The Alien winced and slapped a palm to his forehead. Suika’s hands nervously hovered over him.

“A-are you okay? You didn’t drink too much did you?”

The Alien squinted his eyes at her and cocked his head slightly, as if listening to something. He abruptly moved closer to Suika and put his hands on her shoulders, she flinched.

“Uh, what-"

The Alien pressed his face against hers and, on a foggily remembered instinct, tried to reach out with his mind. A green, ethereal energy sparked off the top of the Alien’s head in a small discharge.

Not much else happened, which was odd, because some part of the Alien’s mind assured him that something more was supposed to happen. He pulled her closer and pressed his face into hers more, another discharge, but nothing else. The Alien took his hands off her and pulled back.

Ibuki Suika looked at him, or through him. Her eyes were glassy. Sometime during the procedure, she had held onto his shoulders too, her hands were now outstretched before her in the air. She had completely frozen up.

A peal of sharp laughter cut through the silent air. The Alien snapped his attention towards the shrine’s porch, where his companion was now doubled over, clutching her sides.





Reimu walked onto her veranda with a tray holding two gently cooling yunomi cups filled with a Hakurei special blend of tea (or so she liked to tell visitors). She wasn’t in a particularly good mood thanks to that irritating bake-danuki’s arrival, but she knew that appeasing the youkai that came to her shrine with tea and snacks always got them to leave quicker. The sight that greeted her outside gave her pause.

On the porch, Mamizou was laughing uncontrollably, to the point where it almost looked painful. Nearby, Suika was standing, dazed, with her arms in front of her. There was saliva trailing out of her mouth. Standing right next to Suika, Mamizou’s pup was looking at Reimu with apparently deep confusion in her face. Reimu was more than a little confused, herself.

What the heck happened here?

“Re-rei-!”

Reimu turned to Mamizou, who was struggling to say something.

“Rei-Re-Reimu! Ha-Reimu you-Hehahah~!

Reimu sighed. Well, stuff like this was just par for the course around her shrine. She really shouldn’t have expected anything else, huh?





About half of an hour later, the shrine maiden, the youkai, and the disguised alien were all seated on the shrine’s veranda, tea in hands, legs dangling off the side. Once she had recovered, Suika had quietly told Reimu she had somewhere else to be before dispersing into a dark mist and flying off in a hurry. The Alien took pride in how unfazed he was by this, he believed that he was slowly building an immunity to this strange place.

What did surprise him was how pleasant the drink in his hands was. It was warm. Between his companion’s hand and the liquid presently sloshing inside the cup as he fiddled with it, it occurred to the Alien that some of the most pleasant things he had experienced felt warm. The disguise’s tail was warm too, and so was the diminutive lifeform’s face. The only exception so far was the accursed sphere of light that hung in the sky, he glared up at it angrily. Then he didn’t. It still hurt to look at. Infernal eye-blinder…

The Alien brooded for a little while, then his attention shifted to his companion. She was smiling as she told the grumpy lifeform about something or other. She must’ve really enjoyed talking. The Alien recalled what the grumpy lifeform had referred to her as when they first entered the shrine.

He pulled on the hem of her skirt, “Mammy…zoo…”

Mamizou turned to the Alien and ruffled the false body’s hair, “Whassa’ matter, sweetie? Something botherin’ ye?” The question was posed with obvious amusement.


[] - The Alien wasn't familiar with laughter, so he asked what that unpleasant sound she kept making was.

[] - The Alien wanted to know what that thing in the sky was called. It's important to know the name of your enemy.

[] - The Alien wanted to know if this was all they were here for.





Alien friend experiences a cultural barrier. Thanks for waiting patiently, writing this stuff is pretty fun.
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[X] - The Alien wanted to know if this was all they were here for.

Keep sight of the mission, even after a bit of cultural exchange.
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[X] - The Alien wanted to know if this was all they were here for.
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[X] - The Alien wanted to know if this was all they were here for.
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[] - The Alien wanted to know if this was all they were here for.
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[X] - The Alien wasn't familiar with laughter, so he asked what that unpleasant sound she kept making was.
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