An Excuse for... Someone who isn't a tengu.
Nefer Nightbug 2015/09/13 (Sun) 16:03
No. 62248
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You are a 20-year-old young lad. (You don’t know it, but today’s the day you’ll make one of the most important choices in your life.) You live in some generic American city and lead a generic life: single, kinda lonely, and…
[ ] Working an office job. It’s nothing too simple or too hard.
[ ] Working as an independent developer/designer/animator/whatever. You get contracts and then get money.
[ ] Working a white collar job, in which you lead… something of some sort. It’s complicated being a manager of a minor technology company.
[ ] You work a no-collar job. You have the top position of all existing staff at a decent pub. It’s understaffed, but there are hardly ever any fights.
Furthermore, your experience with bullet hells is…
[1] Baka. You are the person who dies three seconds into Icicle Fall (Easy) by standing in the safe spot. If the bullet was a Goomba, you’d always jump into it.
[2] Decent. In a Touhou game, you’d make it to stage 4 without using up all your bombs.
[3] Hardly something to scoff at. Lunatic difficulty and thereabouts are a pain to deal with, still. But you can manage, even if you end up at one health and no bombs.
[4] Phantasm. You can go toe-to-toe with the likes of Gengetsu, Yukari, and Evil Eye Sigma.
[5] Ultimortal. You’ve dealt with nearly-impossible patterns before, and have come out on top. However, a non-Touhou shrine maiden shooting game’s Extra boss is proving to be hopeless…
[6 (locked)] The Guy. You have bested fruit, spike and moon. You can make it through the Absurdly Extra stage of Reactivate Majestical Imperial, if barely. That last spellcard, though... Seriously, that's just mean.
[7 (locked)] reallyjoelsdad. Your skills are second-to-none. You have repeatedly proven that you can indeed outsmart bullet. In fact, you are skilled enough to dodge rain on a sub-atomic level. If and when you die, you’re headed to a bullet heaven.
Your familiarity with the Touhou Project is…
[1] Touhou? Huh?
[2] You mean that one with the girl in the funny dress that gets shot at a lot? The bullet hell shooter?
[3] You’ve played a few of the games.
[4] You’re familiar with the games and the massive fandom.
[5] You could have sworn you saw a crow tengu with a camera flying about just the other day, making a beeline for the presidential candidate. You don’t know if it was Aya, though… (note: it was Aya.)
It is a day like any other. You wake up early (by default,) you have something to eat, and then you realize: it's the weekend! You sit there for ten minutes before you hear the doorbell ring. You open the door and see a tall, leggy, dare you say busty blonde in a purple dress with a shit-eating grin. She looks like she's seventeen, but you're positive she's older than she looks.
The dame claims she's your new next-door neighbor, and wants to invite you into her house. You don't entirely trust her, though. Something's just a little... off about her. You can't recall if someone moved out of the house next to you, because you've been engrossed in your games and work. Choices, choices...
[ ] Follow the mystery girl One-way ticket to Gensokyo
[ ] Decline the offer. You feel much safer back home.
(To recap, your knowledge of Touhou is [1-5], your skill at bullet hells is [1-5] and you work a [office, independent, white-collar, or blue-collar] job.)
Oh, and one more thing... Even if the slightly-creepy lass hasn't given you her name, you should probably introduce yourself. What is your name?
Anonymous 2015/09/13 (Sun) 16:44
No. 62250
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[X] Working as an independent developer/designer/animator/whatever. You get contracts and then get money.
[2] Decent. In a Touhou game, you’d make it to stage 4 without using up all your bombs.
[5] You could have sworn you saw a crow tengu with a camera flying about just the other day, making a beeline for the presidential candidate. You don’t know if it was Aya, though… (note: it was Aya.)
[ ] Decline the offer. You feel much safer back home.
Is this a story or a survey?
Anonymous 2015/09/13 (Sun) 18:21
No. 62251
[X] Working as an independent developer/designer/animator/whatever. You get contracts and then get money.
[3] You’ve played a few of the games.
[X] Follow the mystery girl
Anonymous 2015/09/13 (Sun) 20:37
No. 62253
[X] Working an office job. It’s nothing too simple or too hard.
[1] Baka. You are the person who dies three seconds into Icicle Fall (Easy) by standing in the safe spot. If the bullet was a Goomba, you’d always jump into it.
[1] Touhou? Huh?
[X] Decline the offer. You feel much safer back home.
The most interesting person on earth, Carl Humboldt.
Anonymous 2015/09/13 (Sun) 23:38
No. 62255
[x] Working an office job. It’s nothing too simple or too hard.
[3] Hardly something to scoff at. Lunatic difficulty and thereabouts are a pain to deal with, still. But you can manage, even if you end up at one health and no bombs.
[4] You’re familiar with the games and the massive fandom.
[x] Follow the mystery girl
James Fenrir
Diamond from coal
Anonymous 2015/09/14 (Mon) 01:21
No. 62258
[x] Working as an independent developer/designer/animator/whatever. You get contracts and then get money.
[x] Ultimortal. You’ve dealt with nearly-impossible patterns before, and have come out on top. However, a non-Touhou shrine maiden shooting game’s Extra boss is proving to be hopeless…
[x] You mean that one with the girl in the funny dress that gets shot at a lot? The bullet hell shooter?
[x] Follow the mystery girl
This is for your own good.
Anonymous
2015/09/14 (Mon) 03:24
No. 62259
[X] Working as an independent developer/designer/animator/whatever. You get contracts and then get money.
[2] Decent. In a Touhou game, you’d make it to stage 4 without using up all your bombs.
[5] You could have sworn you saw a crow tengu with a camera flying about just the other day, making a beeline for the presidential candidate. You don’t know if it was Aya, though… (note: it was Aya.)
[X] Decline the offer. You feel much safer back home.
If the protag is daft enough to not notice Yukari standing in front of him. We gotta learn.
You got bricked in the face by a Newspaper!
Nefer Nightbug 2015/09/17 (Thu) 23:34
No. 62290
Touhou: 4
Bullet Hells: 3.5
You decide to take the leggy blonde up on her offer. You manage to misremember her face, though: you accidentally call her Ran.
But before she can retort, you are both BRICKED in your faces by NEWSPAPERS moving vertically at TERMINAL VELOCITY.
The whole thing reeks of Aya-class speed.
She seems to have written a harshly-penned interview about Donald Trump, complete with the insult of calling him "a world-renowned yakuza mob boss and male whore." Ouch.
[ ]Chat with the gap youkai
[ ]Just follow silently
[ ]Feel her up? Eh... let's just straighten out her dress.
Anonymous 2015/09/18 (Fri) 01:49
No. 62291
[x]Chat with the gap youkai
Hopefully this won't backfire
Nefer Nightbug 2015/09/20 (Sun) 17:33
No. 62297
You swiftly apologize to Yukari, who seems to have spaced out and forked over the newspaper. She grumbles mildly at the incident.
Yukari: "I told Aya this venture would never work. Poor Hatate is stuck working under her at the television station."
Yukari: "And why'd you call me Ran?"
Anon: "Ran was the only Yakumo I knew? I've never made it through Phantasm, let alone the Extra stage of PCB, but all my friends keep talking about this 'blonde dame in a purple dress' named 'miss Yakumo,' often with 'the gap hag' scornfully tacked onto it. But those conversations are pretty uncommon, so I've only heard your first name a few times."
Yukari: "So you were the independent contractor Ran hired last year for the new carpet design."
