Village Life: It’s Never Safe at Work in 2023 Anonymous 2023/02/26 (Sun) 21:03 No. 16873 ▼ 
It’s that time. What time? Time to Village Life: It’s Never Safe at Work, a 2023 Lewd Shorts Writing Competition!
The terms are none too complicated:
- Starting March 24th till March 31st, writers will submit their entries in a thread provided at that date.
- A twist! Writers can choose one of two themes or both at once.
- The readers, in addition to voting, will decide whether or not their chosen entry satisfies both the themes.
- Such entries as do will receive an extra point in the final tally.
- Voting will be held for a week, starting on the 1st of April.
Without any more ado, the themes shall be these:
Theme 1: - Not Safe For Work –
In other words: workplace shenanigans, professional unprofessionalism, getting it on before getting off work! This can of course stand for good, old-fashioned exchange of pleasure for tangibles – but also characters in a superior/subordinate relationship straining the boundaries of said relationship, regular business swerving into ribaldry, bodily bargaining, etc. An exorcism gone wrong very right with one of Gensokyo’s premier youkai exterminators. Sakuya evaluating a candidate for the mistress’s hand in marriage – down to every last inch of him. A callow Wolf Tengu finding himself inveigled in a scandal while investigating a social uproar among the Crows. An acolyte attending their goddess in all her unreasonable, attention-starved whimsies. All fair game.
And, since I hear you clamouring:
>Is the Lotus Pavilion a professional establishment too?!
Yes. So the house rules avow. Tell you what; I’ll even add an extra point to your final score if you touch upon that THP sextaple.
Theme 2: - Village Girls –
Meaning the usual suspects who live, regularly visit or ply their trade (wink, wink) in the Human Village. Your story must, furthermore, take place within the Village. This is your chance to flaunt your knowledge of the town’s comings-and-goings. An illicit, midnight poker game at the Geidontei with its less savoury frequenters, perhaps? The history teacher’s clandestine rendezvous with a once-student, now all grown up? The village bicycle being taken out on a rough track? Once again, fair game every one.
>Fie! But what if I should an out-of-town character to the village visit desire?
Calm down, Futo. First of all, a number of more and less expected characters do haunt the Human Village. However, if you are even so hankering after that double-theme-dip and a character who has no business being there, by all means! Give them that business. Make it play into your short’s setup – et voila. Nobody’ll be able to tell you your favourite’s too antisocial to get lucky on a night out in town!
>Huzzah!
Indeed.
If there are any remaining questions, go ahead, ask them. Otherwise, you are the challengers. I await your first strokes.
Anonymous 2023/02/26 (Sun) 21:58 No. 16874 ▼ >>16873 Do not inhale the book stank.
Anonymous 2023/02/26 (Sun) 22:21 No. 16875 ▼ Are entries limited to a post or two as usual? Not that entries tend to go any longer but it's good to clarify these things.
Not sure I'll participate but best of luck to all.
Anonymous 2023/02/26 (Sun) 22:30 No. 16876 ▼ >>16875 Honestly, having more to read oughtn’t to cause complaint with anyone. I’ll trust in the writers’ self-moderation.
Anonymous 2023/02/26 (Sun) 23:26 No. 16877 ▼ Can we start writing now? I already have an idea for what I'd like to do. Does it just need to be submitted starting March 24th, or does it need to have started being written on March 24th?
Anonymous 2023/02/26 (Sun) 23:37 No. 16878 ▼ >>16877 You can start writing now. The only reason I'd postponed having an entries thread up off the bat is I'd thought it'd end up sitting empty till the very last minute anyway.
Anonymous 2023/02/27 (Mon) 09:43 No. 16883 ▼ I'll probably pass on the whole Pavillion inside joke, but I'm sure I can scrap something off my old, dusty ledger of ideas to accomodate both main themes. And it just so happens life's actually giving me a short break this month, so sure, I'm game.
Anonymous 2023/03/07 (Tue) 13:46 No. 16891 ▼ 
We're one week into March, so I'd like to express a hope that you amazing, writerly bastards have at the very least decided whether you want to participate, if not already started working on your entries. Mine is coming along nicely!
Anonymous 2023/03/08 (Wed) 04:59 No. 16892 ▼ >The readers, in addition to voting, will decide whether or not their chosen entry satisfies both the themes.
>Such entries as do will receive an extra point in the final tally.
>Is the Lotus Pavilion a professional establishment too?!
>Yes. So the house rules avow. Tell you what; I’ll even add an extra point to your final score if you touch upon that THP sextaple.
Writing about the Lotus Pavilion gives you 1 extra point. The Lotus Pavilion counts as a working environment, so you get another extra point. The Lotus Pavilion is located in the human village, so you get another extra point. So anyone who writes about the Lotus Pavilion automatically gets 3 points and is pretty much guaranteed to win, no matter how bad the story might be.
I think these rules might need a bit of rethinking.
Anonymous 2023/03/08 (Wed) 13:16 No. 16893 ▼ >>16892 >So anyone who writes about the Lotus Pavilion automatically gets 3 points and is pretty much guaranteed to win, no matter how bad the story might be. Not quite. Treat the Lotus Pavilion clause simply as 1 freebie point from moi, the organiser. To receive additional points the story would need to be voted for in the first place
and for the majority of those votes to rule that, whoever it stars (and the Lotus Pavilion's employees hailed mostly from outside the Human Village), that character also qualifies as a Village Girl as outlined in the OP. But this is the same for all other entries, so there's no real favouritism going on.
In other words, a Lotus Pavilion entry will only get 1 automatic point from yours truly. No more, nor less.
Anonymous 2023/03/08 (Wed) 13:27 No. 16894 ▼ > A twist! Writers can choose one of two themes or both at once. > The readers, in addition to voting, will decide whether or not their chosen entry satisfies both the themes. > Such entries as do will receive an extra point in the final tally. Even with the extra explanation in
>>16893, it seems to me that this could be interpreted in three possible ways:
- a story that features both themes gets two extra points and a story that features only one of them gets one
- a story that features both themes gets one extra point and a story that features only one of them gets none
- a story that features either or both of the themes gets one extra point
So which of these interpretations is correct?
Anonymous 2023/03/08 (Wed) 15:33 No. 16895 ▼ >>16894 A story that features both themes, if the votes affirm so, receives 1 extra point in the final count. Not per-vote.
A story that features the Pavilion receives 1 point as if I'd pre-emptively voted for it. The end.
Anonymous 2023/03/08 (Wed) 22:13 No. 16896 ▼ >>16895 Okay, and then a story that features only one of the themes (and not the Pavilion) does not get any extra points?
Anonymous 2023/03/14 (Tue) 13:10 No. 16903 ▼ 
Another seven days have passed. Astrologers proclaim the week of Sekibanki. Population of Sekiheads doubles!
They are watching you write!
Anonymous 2023/03/21 (Tue) 17:43 No. 16933 ▼ 
Gotta make it to the weekend... Just a few days more...
Oh. You're here. As a reminder, the submission thread will go up at around this time in 3 days. And, since we all know no sane man puts his thingy up for consideration till another poor sap has been scrotunised, I guess that makes it effectively 10 days left to do yours up before the voting phase.
In addition! I have made some determinations and decided that there will, after all, be a prize for the winner. I won't say what kind yet, but you'll find out on that unfortunately dated day, once the entries have been compiled and put up for voting. Not a joke. No, really...
Anonymous 2023/03/24 (Fri) 17:51 No. 16934 ▼ 
The
entries thread is now up over yonder:
>>/at/41258. Hopefully, it shan’t be the only thing that goes up. Aha!
From here on, you have about week for finishing touches (giggity!) and to present your offering to the patron bikes of the lewd. To entertain formalities, the
entry window ends on March 31st, at whenever-I-get-to-it o’clock. I’ll try and pass a forewarning around before I do. Since you have had over a month to get it done, requests for an extension shall be viewed very poutily!
