LET'S GET RETARDED, Thread 1 Finn 2010/12/25 (Sat) 22:01 No. 132258 ▼ File 129331449412.jpg - (71.72KB, 638x521 , YEEHAW.jpg)
As my own special Christmas gift, I decided to lower my standards for the first time in about two or three years and write something almost completely driven and controlled by the audience! Let's start this train wreck!
CHOOSE YOUR PROTAGONIST'S GENDER
[ ] Male
[ ] Female
Anonymous 2010/12/25 (Sat) 22:04 No. [X] Female
Yeah, this one is obvious.
Finn 2010/12/25 (Sat) 22:11 No. Time waits for no man, so I'm moving on! Your protagonist is female, but wait... I think I heard someone say dickgirl. Did someone say dickgirl?
[ ] Yes yes yes
[ ] Oh god no
Anonymous 2010/12/25 (Sat) 22:17 No. [x] Oh god no
That shit is Lunatic
Anonymous 2010/12/25 (Sat) 22:20 No. [X] Oh god no
NO.
JUST
NO!
Anonymous 2010/12/25 (Sat) 22:26 No. [X] Oh god no
Dicks goes on males and in females, not the other way around thank you.
Anonymous 2010/12/25 (Sat) 22:33 No. >Implying there can be a middle ground between flat and huge in Eastern-inspired settings
[X] D-cup all the way!
Now I can relate.
Anonymous 2010/12/25 (Sat) 22:35 No. >[ ] /d/-cup is the best!
What... Is /d/ cup? I'm kinda reluctant to pick it, but...
Finn 2010/12/25 (Sat) 22:41 No. Okay. No dick, but instead she'll have some kind of rocking awesome sexually deviant fetishist cans. Rock on.
So, let's get a little more normal.
[ ] Black hair.
[ ] Brown hair.
[ ] Magenta hair.
[ ] Tickle-me-pink hair.
[ ] No red hair because gingers don't have souls.
[ ] No hair.
Anonymous 2010/12/25 (Sat) 22:42 No. [x] /d/-cup is the best!
Yes.
YES.
Anonymous 2010/12/25 (Sat) 22:43 No. [x] Green hair.
Green > *
Anonymous 2010/12/25 (Sat) 22:43 No. Lulzwriteins
[]Snow white/Silver
Finn 2010/12/25 (Sat) 22:44 No. Fuck yeah, write-ins! That's the spirit, guys!
Anonymous 2010/12/25 (Sat) 22:45 No. Silver-haired big breasted anti-hero protagonist, you know you want it.
Finn 2010/12/25 (Sat) 22:51 No. Silver hair and rag jugs, my bread and butter.
Let's skip past a bunch of the pretentious pansy shit like eye color and favorite food because nobody gives a fuck. Instead,
[ ] What alignment is your character?
Finn 2010/12/25 (Sat) 22:52 No. Woops, meant to say rad jugs! But rag jugs wouldn't be that bad. She could mop the sweat up off of you while you shake and bake, I guess.
Anonymous 2010/12/25 (Sat) 22:52 No. [X] Chaotic Good
Shit, let's be GAR.
Anonymous 2010/12/25 (Sat) 22:53 No. [x] Chaotic good
Just because killing a few bunnies to make a gift for your friend is a good thing.
Anonymous 2010/12/25 (Sat) 22:53 No. I personally like Chaotic Neutral best but that's just me.
[1] Lawlful Evil (Almost as good but not as much)
[2] Chaotic Good (cliché but comfortable.)
Anonymous 2010/12/25 (Sat) 22:53 No. [x] true neutral
I have no strong feelings one way or the other, tell my wife I said hello, etc.
Finn 2010/12/25 (Sat) 23:00 No. Chaotic good, cool, cool. So she's a silver haired crazy heroine with fucking awesome tits. Let's move on to our next-to-last question.
What should she wear?
[ ] Armor, like some kinda fucking heroic knight
[ ] Rags, because well, fuck fancy shit
[ ] Normal clothes because I'm boring
[ ] ABSOLUTELY NOTHING
Anonymous 2010/12/25 (Sat) 23:02 No. [X]Dress with frill and lace. Also, stocking, there must be stockings.
Anonymous 2010/12/25 (Sat) 23:04 No. [X]Dress with frill and lace. Also, stocking, there must be stockings.
I rike.
Anonymous 2010/12/25 (Sat) 23:04 No. [X] Badly self-made cosplay.
Anonymous 2010/12/25 (Sat) 23:07 No. [x]A mysterious cloack, hiding most of her
Finn 2010/12/25 (Sat) 23:11 No. Frills, of course! It's a touhou board, so touhou clothing is the best!
Last question.
What one completely pointless little insignificant detail do you want in addition to all of the above?
[ ] Voters' choice
Anonymous 2010/12/25 (Sat) 23:12 No. [X]Already decent/good at Danmaku
Anonymous 2010/12/25 (Sat) 23:14 No. [x] terrible at danmaku, but she makes up for it with her incredible luck.
Anonymous 2010/12/25 (Sat) 23:15 No. [x] alcoholic
Can't help but imagine her doing that cleavage cup thing.
Finn 2010/12/25 (Sat) 23:22 No. Okay, counting that last one because what the fuck, also not including otaku because nerds suck.
So that's about it, let's get this show on the rooooaaaad
Anonymous 2010/12/25 (Sat) 23:23 No. >also not including otaku because nerds suck.
Awesome.
Finn 2010/12/25 (Sat) 23:29 No. 132309 ▼ File 129331977077.jpg - (44.06KB, 650x525 , WAKARANAI.jpg)
You're some kind of silver haired bimbo with a frilly outfit and magical tits. Oh god, is that midriff? Your boobs are currently taking the form of what appear to be two digletts, and you can't help but imagine having a magic penis and carrying a full dugtrio. You're more than a little pissed at how poorly drawn you and your surroundings are, but you figure that it's better than nothing.
Wat do?
[ ] Conjure up some sort of stat bars with your IMAGINATION
[ ] Investigate your poorly drawn surroundings
[ ] Do something crazy with your tits
[ ] Get ye flask
Anonymous 2010/12/25 (Sat) 23:30 No. [x] Conjure up some sort of stat bars with your IMAGINATION
Better include a sober/drunk status bar.
Anonymous 2010/12/25 (Sat) 23:32 No. >Your boobs are currently taking the form of what appear to be two digletts
This was NOT what I expected of /d/ cup.
[X] Conjure up some sort of stat bars with your IMAGINATION
Anonymous 2010/12/25 (Sat) 23:34 No. This is why people should listen to me when I say an option is a bad idea.
[X] Conjure up some sort of stat bars with your IMAGINATION
[X] Examine strife specib--wait wrong site
Anonymous 2010/12/25 (Sat) 23:35 No. Eh, /d/ tits can still include /d/ sized tits. IT'S NOT OVER YET.
Finn 2010/12/25 (Sat) 23:41 No. 132315 ▼ File 12933204693.png - (15.48KB, 650x525 , ooh shiny.png)
Your wild IMAGINATION crafts up a sobriety bar for you. You appear to have a pretty good buzz going as it stands, and understandably so. The last thing you remember is getting smashed, after all.
[ ] Morph tits
[ ] Investigate surroundings
[ ] Get ye flask
Anonymous 2010/12/25 (Sat) 23:42 No. [x] Morph tits
This should be interesting.
Anonymous 2010/12/25 (Sat) 23:43 No. [X] Morph tits
Something more sensible please.
[X] Investigate surroundings
Anonymous 2010/12/25 (Sat) 23:43 No. [X] Morph tits back in a humanoid non-mutant shape and appreciate the fact that your Youkai heritage allows you to do this.
[X] Get Ye Flask even though it's probably empty; wish it worked like that one Oni gourd.
Finn 2010/12/25 (Sat) 23:54 No. 132320 ▼ File 12933212489.png - (19.91KB, 650x525 , oohubbahubba.png)
Your fine cans once again become fine cans. Another crisis averted. In retrospect, you can't recall why you even made your tits become digletts. Oh well. Further analysis of your surroundings shows that Ye Flask is not immediately available and that it's dark. Also prison bars. Fuck.
[ ] Use your tits to escape.
[ ] Call for help.
[ ] Sit there and fondle yourself.
Anonymous 2010/12/25 (Sat) 23:55 No. [x] Use your tits to escape.
Buzz-saw tits incoming.
Anonymous 2010/12/25 (Sat) 23:55 No. [x]Look out of prison bars
Anonymous 2010/12/25 (Sat) 23:59 No. [X] Use your tits to escape.
I bet we were jailed for being crazy cannibal. Just look at that blood.
Finn 2010/12/26 (Sun) 00:09 No. 132325 ▼ File 129332217052.png - (17.65KB, 650x525 , woahshit.png)
Your awesome tits cut the bars apart like a giant pair of scissors.
Oh wait.
[ ] Wat do?
Anonymous 2010/12/26 (Sun) 00:10 No. [x] Eat the bars
[x] Escape
Anonymous 2010/12/26 (Sun) 00:12 No. >[ ] Wat do?
[x]Stop posting.
Anonymous 2010/12/26 (Sun) 18:41 No. [x] Search for some Touhous.
Because Touhous everywhere.
Anonymous 2010/12/26 (Sun) 21:00 No. [X] Realize that we are nameless.
[X] Come to the conclusion that as we are some kind of hellish manifestation of the general Youkai Stereotype of appearance, with morphic powers similar to that of a succubus.
[X] Come up with a name. (Something seductive, random or chaotic will do. Multiple names are also a good idea too.)
[X] Proceed to find out who imprisoned us.
[X] Pick up Behelit.
Finn 2010/12/26 (Sun) 22:21 No. Consider this dropped. It's been brought to my attention that it was just a little too pointlessly retarded and a waste of time.
Anonymous 2010/12/27 (Mon) 02:03 No. [X] Realize that we are nameless.
[X] Come to the conclusion that as we are some kind of hellish manifestation of the general Youkai Stereotype of appearance, with morphic powers similar to that of a succubus.
[X] Come up with a name. (Something seductive, random or chaotic will do. Multiple names are also a good idea too.)
[X] Proceed to find out who imprisoned us.
[X] Pick up Behelit.
Anonymous 2010/12/27 (Mon) 22:33 No. I missed the days when "retarded" stories were still as entertaining as that one with COMMODORE MOTHERFUCKING PERRY. I mean, sure that one was stupid too, but I don't even know what "retarded" means anymore with such low expectations that allowed this thread to come into being.
Anonymous 2010/12/30 (Thu) 17:18 No. 132538 ▼ File 129372952319.jpg - (65.26KB, 425x450 , 1051u6c.jpg)
I prefer mature CYOA for mature posters such as myself.