Treia !P0dSPtgivA 2012/08/14 (Tue) 13:47 No. 668 ▼ File 134495203224.jpg - (716.61KB, 1500x1875 , ad545b85a5963fa8a911213986a084c0.jpg)
The duo arrived (mostly) unscathed in front of a towering wooden wall, extending in both directions as far as the eye could see, while still maintaining an impressive 30 feet into the air. A small door was built into the wall directly ahead of them.
"Aha! Civilization!"
Master seemed proud of himself as he lowered the poor assistant off his shoulders, who was spitting out bits of cicada from her mouth and removing them from her hair the entire time.
"You just ran in the opposite direction of the swarm?"
"No, I found them. Just like that mickey-mouse character found her thing. Divination!"
"I thought we debunked that one-"
"Nonsense. Look, we're obviously in an alternate dimension. We may have disproved all existing paranormal theories in our dimension, earth-dimension-of-the-humans-of-sol trademark-pending, but this is new ground! Who knows! I might have gained telekinetic powers! Behold, as I rend the door from its wooden frame!"
He stormed up to the door, sizing it up like some sort of sumo wrestler. He snorted, stamping his foot and doing a spin before resting both hands on the door. Psyching himself up, he began to chant, yelling as he lifted his arms up, preparing for the attack and then suddenly bringing them down in one swift motion, a series of quick wrist movements following.
"Shave a haircut? Really, Master? You think people who are going to build a wooden wall know that one?"
"Shut up and give me two bits back."
She sighed and shook her head, delivering the reply knock. It was a bit silly, given that they were both on the same side of the door and all. The door creaked, and an eye at almost knee-level peeked out.
"Are you the substitute teachers?"
"Aha, a child! Why no, but I will tell you what we are. We are travelers from afar. Heroes from another land. I am a great noble, and this is my maid-"
Whack.
"-assistant, Ayame. We have come through another dimension to meet you. In fact, that makes us travelers from really far. That's like? the length of the universe twice over, right? So that's a few hundred billion light years and considering that Tokyo to Houston is considered ?far?, we-"
"Keeeeeine! The teachers are here!"
The small voice croaks, throwing open the door. A bustling array of positively medieval township awaited them. An open-air market, the people dressed mostly in Kimonos, and the faint smell of something dead.
"Are they? smoking meat?"
Ayame mused, her nose twitching.
"I like this place already."
"You said that already."
The child lead them past a series of increasing archaic shops, culminating in housing, a smithy (with hand tools!), and a square schoolhouse. The child pointed at the doorway and Master took the lead, kicking the door right off its hinges.
"Oops."
"-I'll start them a tab."
"Thanks, Ayame. Teacher! What was his name? Cain? Boy, I hope we're not some long-lost blood brothers."
"Your name isn't Abel."
"No, but I am able! Hahaha! Geddit, because? yeah you got it I'm sure."
"What's all this racket?"
A head peeks out from a room down the hall, one hand upon a stacked hat bigger than the head it on, to prevent it from falling off.
"Aha! The secretariat!"
"Secretary."
"Pay her no mind!"
Master announces, moving to shake her hand. She steps out in her bright blue dress, shaking his hand, propping her hat up, rubbing her bright red nose, adjusting her hat, and shaking his hand again.
"We are looking for this? Cain person. We suspect him of being a brother murder, and possibly a teacher, although reports are unsure on the latter."
"Keine. Also, you're just making up the first part."
"Yes, that's me."
She replies, nodding, and having to adjust her hat again.
"What? No. We are looking for Keine. C-A-I-N."
"Keine."
"Like I said. We are looking for a male brother murderer who? Why are we doing this again?"
"The child confused us for teachers, master."
"You're not the teachers?"
Keine asks out loud, trying to get a word in.
"Well that's absurd. I flatly stated that we are not teachers. We do not even have credentials!"
"Yes, but he clearly called us teachers and called for his own teacher. They appear to be expecting teachers. We must inform this teacher that we are not them."
Keine looked back and forth between the two, completely oblivious to her and on their own level.
"You're not teachers?"
"Yes, yes! That is why, Ayame, yes, you are correct. Well then, we must find this Cain person and?"
"Keine."
"Right. Keine. We must find him, and tell him. Who is this person?"
Master asked, suddenly aware there was a very real person standing beside him besides the usual assistant.
"I think that is Keine, actually."
"Yes, I'm Keine! Are you two teachers or not?! You don't seem to be listening."
Master turned aside, shaking his head.
"If she had been listening, she would have known we are not teachers. It seems she does not know where this ?Keine? is, however. This is a small schoolhouse, we should keep searching."
"Achoo!"
The building shook and the two stared at the bereaved schoolteacher, her dress now a lighter green. Two horns grew out of her head, straight through her silly hat. At least she wasn't having any difficulty keeping it on her head, now.
"My? are those bull horns?"
?A minotaur!?
Master screeched, practically grappling her as he took hold of both horns, pressing up against her.
"how-do-they-work-do-you-feel-this-hey-does-this-tickle?"
He quickly rattles off, rocking back and forth and trying to dislodge them, serving only to give her neck pains. She slapped Master's hands off, and pointed threateningly at Ayame.
"Enough! You are not the teachers, so I do not know who you are! Out!"
"But, but, mom... Minotaurs!"
She picked him up, all the while he was yelling like a little kid.
"We flying now. Alley-oop!"
He yells right before he's tossed over Ayame's head, through the schoolhouse's flimsy wooden wall. She takes a step back, shaking.
"Now, hey, I'll just- Eek!"
She quickly joins her employer in the open air.
**********************************************
The door to the village slams shut behind them as they rub their sore parts, butts and joints and heads where they were unceremoniously tossed out.
"Jackass. Look what you've done."
"I think they found out we weren't teachers!"
Ayame sighed, much too accustomed to her master's insane dealings. Didn't help, though.
"I don't even know if this is the same exit we came in through."
"It could not be! See the slender stalks, the bamboo stilts!"
"I? that's the most sensible thing you've said all day. Okay, if we follow the wall it should eventually lead back to the trees, or some trees, and then hell maybe we might get lucky."
Master springs up, pointing at the bamboo.
"Trees! Bamboo! What does this say to you, Ayame?"
"-We're in a forest?"
"A bamboo and tree forest!"
"-We're in Japan?"
"An anomaly, you fool. We must investigate."